Day 11

I guess most of you think I’ve probably already succombed to the sweet call of succession. Nope, not a chance! I can’t tell you how proud of myself I am. I’ve been writing more than I have in months and not just on NaNo stuff. I’ve started a few short stories, several small emotional tidbits of time, and even outlined the majority of a very dark Peter Pan spin-off. 

It’s been rough going in a different sort of way this year. It reminds me a lot of when I quit cutting. When that happened I just decided I was done. The urges would come and in a weird way I started to relish the dissatisfaction of not giving in. That was ten yars ago and I’ve since turned those urges into healthier and healthier choices as the days go by. I’ve had slip ups sure, but I’ve learned more about determination from quitting that, than I have trying to push through anything else. 

So each day, I get up. I tell myself NaNo can wait. I do homework, housework, no work, and eventually find myself plucking away at my story. It has no real plot. I don’t even know what my bad girl wants. It’s just random details of moments thrown together and trust that one day I’ll know what to do with them. 

Self-trust it’s something I’m working on in every aspect of my life. If I don’t learn to show myself compassion over even the smallest things I don’t know what will happen to me, but it won’t be good. So each day, despite letting myself off the hook, I find myself writing and getting in those word counts. Why? It would be so easy to give up, especially since I’m not even that emotionally committed. I keep writing because it’s who I am. Without words I would be lost. They are my voice, my dreams, my fears, my spirit. I cannot live without them and I don’t wish to try.

So maybe I don’t get to NaNo every day, but my word count is up and I’m still going. So, I’m okay. I’m going to be okay and one day I’ll finish something and it will all find purpose. 

I’ll try to keep up with the blog a little bit better from now on, but no promises. If you’d all like to hear about something other than NaNo, let me know. I’m full of useless information, strange hobbies, and crazy interests. Send me questions, requests, or just bits about yourself! 

Word Count: 25,662


Day 2: Word Count 2243 (4649)

One more day finished – yay me! 

Looking back at what I did yesterday, I was once more rethinking this. I’m pretty much always my own worse enemy and writing is the most critical. Obviously I understand the logic behind NaNo and I realize it doesn’t need to be perfect. Yet, perfectionist I am and with all things the doubts were plentiful.

Today, I decided to try again and back up a little further in my story. My main character starts out in a very dark place – only trouble? I have no idea what that dark place is. I know she’s going to spiral downward enough that she considers poison as an option. It’s not a topic I take lightly so the trouble is making her desperate enough that even I believe this is an option. At this point, I’m still not a hundred percent sure what is going on. I have laid some groundwork for the beginnings of this spiral and even given my girl a little hope to be crushed later on down the road. Will it be enough? I’m not sure yet. 

While I’m not overly thrilled with my writing at the moment I realize that I’m severely out of practice. The most writing I’ve been doing lately is homework and a little journaling. That being said, I’ve considered picking out my favorite line from each day. Just something to keep my morale up – focus on the positive. 

Day 1: Gene laughed gently and spoke, “Sometimes running away isn’t something life allows us or maybe it’s just time for me to move forward. It’s easy to lose track of time out here. As for you, you’re not an imposition, you’re just a surprise.”

Day 2: She [Scarlett] turned on her heals and silenced him with her glare. “Do not call me that. There are a lot of things in this world you can control, but I’m not one of them. I will not go there and while you may be able to strong arm this situation to your will, believe me when I say I am not afraid to go to equal extremes.” 

I really feel like I’m looking at something I wrote out of junior high, but I’m not giving up. I can always up my game as I move along. The point is to just keep writing! 

Good luck all 🙂 

Day 1 – Word Count: 2406

Well, November is here. Up until about 8pm I was still debating on participating in NaNo this year. The past two days I’ve been working on outlining at least a basic plot of a new story. I still have several unfinished and I know there’s a few people out there that will be yelling at me to finish one of my old pieces, but I’m really hoping this change will get me back in the habit of writing in a more productive way all around.

For two days I struggled over the basic plot behind many of my story ideas. It’s nothing special and definitely nothing original, but it’s mine (or at least it will be) and I’m okay with that. I don’t like to heavily relay on structured-anything, but I do have a couple of writing guides that I like to use to get started if I’m struggling. One of them has an exercise where you break down your plot into the most simple one sentence description that you can. So here’s mine: A lonely, insecure, and immature girl navigates a fantasy world to discover who she is, her own strengths, and how to finally grow up emotionally. 

Yup, it sounds that boring to me too. With enough work though I think I can make something of it. So, I started writing and with an 1:20 left I had about 1700 words finished. It’s not a spectacular start, but I got through today!

NaNoWriMo ’13

Despite my own hesitancy, I have decided to participate in NaNoWriMo once again. For those of you who have no idea what I’m talking about, NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) takes place every year in November. The goal is simple: in 30 days have written a total of 50,000 words – or approximately 1667 words a day for 30 days. That’s it. They don’t have to be written well. Your story doesn’t need to be finished. Your ‘novel’ can be made up of anything from poems to fan fiction to the next ‘Great American Novel’.

The first time (and only successful completion) I did NaNo was in 2010. It was probably the biggest project of my life and to this day the closest thing I have come to actually finishing a novel. I have several started and all in various states of chaotic messiness. My first novel I have still avoided going back to and finishing it. While I have trouble acting in this system to a completely beneficial level, it is still more progress than I make on my own most days.

At heart, I am both a perfectionist and a procrastinator! This sort of messy just jump in and write system definitely freaks me out a little, but it also allows me to put all those worries, doubts, and stresses away for a while and just work. I’m at a point in my life where everything is kind of hectic and while I probably don’t need another task to juggle, this is something that is structured and I can see tangible progress. I’m hoping that it’s just what I need to get busy again and find some confidence in that.

That being said, I have two days to come up with an idea and a feasible outline to keep me on task. See you in November!